Something missing

I think every person has a friend they've lost because the friendship was ended for some unknown reason. I have that type of someone & think of her often. We were friends since junior high. She was even in my wedding & then... no more contact. I'm not sure why & I never will know. I contacted her a year or so ago but she didn't seem to want anything to do with me. Again, I'll never know why & as much as I hate to admit it, it haunts me.

For the most part, I've moved on. We both grew up & changed. We used to be the type of friends who could go a year without talking & it would still feel like old times when we did. Part of me wonders if it something I did, but you can't re-trace every past action or decision.

I know she was getting married in 2004 (to the guy I encourage her to date when she was on vacation with my family). I know that she probably graduated in Spring 2004 with a PhD degree. Someday she may have kids & I won't be there. Someday she may have problems & I won't be there to help her. She'll never know my son either.

I wish I could continue to share my life with her, but she's made that choice & I have to live with it. Maybe she'll read this someday & know I still think of her each day (like I always have). She will always be a sister of my heart...